wellness, family, faith

Growing Apart to Grow Together: Spiritual Maturity in Marriage & Families

January 23, 20256 min read

Growing Together: Embracing Spiritual Maturity in Family Life

As parents, we often find ourselves juggling the demands of family life while trying to maintain our own sense of identity and purpose. It's a delicate balance, isn't it? We want to prioritize our loved ones, but we also need to nurture our own growth and fulfillment. Today, let's explore a topic that's close to my heart and crucial for family dynamics: spiritual maturity and how it can transform our relationships and personal growth.

The Journey of Faith and Family

Have you ever felt like your beliefs are shifting beneath your feet? Maybe you've experienced moments where the faith that once seemed so solid now feels a bit shaky. If so, you're not alone. This journey is a natural part of our spiritual and emotional growth, especially as parents.

"Shifting faith can feel destabilizing, but it's a necessary part of growth."

This insight from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife resonates deeply with me. As we navigate the complexities of family life, our perspectives often evolve. It's not about abandoning our core values, but rather about deepening our understanding and embracing a more nuanced view of the world.

Understanding Spiritual Maturity

Spiritual maturity isn't about having all the answers. Instead, it's about being comfortable with questions and uncertainties. It's a journey that parallels our growth as parents – we start with a simple, often black-and-white view, and gradually develop a more complex understanding of life and faith.

James Fowler, a developmental psychologist, outlined six stages of faith development. Most adults find themselves in stage three, characterized by a strong identification with religious institutions and a desire to conform to community norms. However, true spiritual growth often involves moving into stage four, where we take personal responsibility for our beliefs.

This transition can feel unsettling, especially in family settings. Imagine trying to answer your child's straightforward question about prayer when you're grappling with your own doubts. It's challenging, but it's also an opportunity for authentic growth – both for you and your children.

family, parenting

Navigating Differences in Marriage

In marriages, spiritual growth doesn't always happen in sync. One partner might be questioning long-held beliefs while the other remains steadfast. This disparity can create tension, but it also offers a chance for deeper connection and understanding.

"Spiritual maturity requires embracing uncertainties and complexities."

The key is to approach these differences with openness and respect. Instead of trying to control your spouse's spiritual journey, focus on renegotiating shared values and practices. This approach fosters a healthier, more differentiated relationship where both partners can grow individually and together.

Creating a Safe Space for Growth

As parents, one of our most important roles is creating a safe environment for our children to explore their own beliefs. This doesn't mean abandoning guidance; rather, it's about modeling respectful dialogue and critical thinking.

Here are some ways to foster spiritual growth in your family:

  1. Encourage questions: Create an atmosphere where doubts and curiosities are welcomed, not shunned.

  2. Share your journey: Be open about your own spiritual explorations, including your uncertainties.

  3. Respect differences: Demonstrate that love and respect aren't conditional on shared beliefs.

  4. Explore together: Engage in activities that broaden your spiritual horizons as a family.

Embracing Authenticity

Living authentically is crucial for our well-being and sets a powerful example for our children. It takes courage to be true to yourself, especially when it might disappoint others. But remember, authenticity doesn't mean impulsively acting on every feeling. It's about aligning your actions with your deepest values and being honest about your journey.

"True fulfillment comes when we live more authentically and live in a space where we have that continuous growth."

This authenticity extends to how we engage with our community. It might mean respectfully voicing a different perspective in religious settings or choosing to participate in ways that align with your evolving beliefs.

Expanding Your Worldview

One of the most enriching aspects of spiritual growth is expanding our worldview. This doesn't just benefit us; it equips our children to navigate an increasingly diverse world with empathy and understanding.

Consider these strategies:

  • Engage with diverse perspectives: Seek out conversations with people who think differently from you.

  • Explore various media and literature: Expose yourself and your family to diverse ideas through books, documentaries, and art.

  • Practice active listening: When encountering different viewpoints, focus on understanding rather than judging.

  • Reflect regularly: Take time to ponder your beliefs and be open to refining them.

As the renowned spiritual teacher Ram Dass once said, "We're all just walking each other home." This beautiful sentiment reminds us that our spiritual journeys, while personal, are also interconnected.

family, parenting, marriage

Balancing Personal Growth and Family Responsibilities

As parents, it's easy to put our own growth on the back burner. However, nurturing our spiritual and personal development is crucial not just for us, but for our entire family. When we prioritize our own growth, we model self-care and continuous learning for our children.

Here are some ways to balance personal growth with family responsibilities:

  • Set aside time for reflection: Even 10 minutes of quiet contemplation or journaling can make a difference.

  • Include family in your journey: Share age-appropriate insights from your spiritual exploration with your children.

  • Practice mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques into daily family routines.

  • Seek support: Connect with like-minded parents or join a spiritual discussion group.

Embracing Change and Uncertainty

Change can be scary, especially when it comes to our core beliefs. But embracing this change is part of our growth as individuals and as families. It's okay to feel uncertain or even anxious about evolving beliefs. These feelings are signs of growth, not weakness.

Remember, spiritual maturity isn't about reaching a final destination. It's an ongoing journey of discovery, questioning, and deepening understanding. By embracing this journey, we open ourselves and our families to richer, more fulfilling lives.

Conclusion: A Path to Family Fulfillment

As we navigate the complexities of spiritual growth within our families, we're not just shaping our own lives – we're influencing the next generation. By modeling openness, authenticity, and continuous learning, we're equipping our children with tools to navigate their own spiritual journeys.

This path isn't always easy. There will be moments of doubt, disagreement, and discomfort. But these challenges are opportunities for growth, both individually and as a family unit. As we embrace our evolving spirituality, we create space for deeper connections, greater empathy, and more authentic living.

Remember, your journey of spiritual growth is uniquely yours. It's okay to question, to doubt, and to change. By embracing this journey with openness and courage, you're not only enriching your own life but creating a legacy of growth and authenticity for your family.

So, let's embark on this journey together – growing, learning, and evolving. As we do, we'll discover that our spiritual maturity doesn't just change us; it transforms our families, creating a ripple effect of understanding, empathy, and fulfillment that extends far beyond our homes.


Join us on Fulfillment Therapy, where you'll find healing, wellness, and the tools needed to live a life you can't wait to wake up to. Together, we can create positive ripples of change and help others ignite their lives with lasting joy and fulfillment.

Thanks for reading and listening and shine boldly and brightly, my friends!


*Listen to our podcast episode 185 | Growing Apart to Grow Together: Spiritual Maturity in Marriage & Families


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