You know that feeling when you're lying in bed at night, mentally replaying your day with your kids, and wondering if you're doing this whole parenting thing right? Maybe you snapped at them over homework. Maybe you felt your chest tighten when they melted down in the grocery store. Maybe you're doing everything the experts say—setting boundaries, being consistent, showing up—but your child still seems anxious, withdrawn, or struggling more than you ever expected.

I've been there. And if you're reading this, chances are you're there right now.

The truth is, we're living through what mental health professionals are calling a crisis. Our kids are more anxious than any generation before them. As parents, we're exhausted trying to protect them from a world that feels overwhelming, unpredictable, and frankly, kind of scary. We thought parenting would be hard, but we didn't expect it to feel this relentless.

Recently, I sat down with Dr. Mike Ronsisvalle, a licensed psychologist with over 35,000 hours of clinical experience, to talk about why anxiety has become the defining mental health issue of our time—and more importantly, what we can actually do about it. What he shared completely shifted how I think about my role as a parent, and I believe it'll do the same for you.

The Mental Health Crisis No One Saw Coming

Let's start with the hard truth: anxiety is now the most diagnosed mental health condition in history.

"There are more people diagnosed with anxiety today than have ever been diagnosed in the history of how long we've been measuring this," Dr. Ronsisvalle explained during our conversation. "So it is a massive problem, and that probably doesn't come as a surprise to anybody."

He's right. It doesn't surprise us because we're living it. We see it in our kids who can't sleep because they're worried about school. We see it in ourselves when we lie awake at 2 a.m. catastrophizing about their future. We see it in the constant low-grade panic that's become so normal we barely notice it anymore.

But why is this happening now? Why are our children—who have more resources, more awareness about mental health, more access to therapy—struggling more than we did growing up?

Dr. Ronsisvalle believes technology plays a massive role. He shared a story about talking to his own son about dating. "When I was dating your mom, I had to call her on a landline and be like, 'Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? Are you free?' I couldn't text her. There was no Snapchat, no instant message."

His son's response? "Wait, the corded phone?"

That disconnect isn't just funny—it's telling. Our kids are growing up in a completely different world than we did, one where connection is instant but somehow more isolating, where information is endless but wisdom feels scarce, where comparison is constant and self-worth feels conditional.

The comedian Bo Burnham once said, "We're all just playing pretend, and we've forgotten we're playing pretend." That's what technology has done to our families. We're so immersed in a digital reality that we've lost touch with what real connection actually looks like.

The Parenting Trap We All Fall Into

Here's where things get uncomfortable. Dr. Ronsisvalle pointed out something that hit me right in the chest: many of us are parenting from a place of fear rather than faith.

"We're afraid of what could happen. We're afraid of the outcomes. We're afraid that if we don't do it perfectly, our kids are going to struggle," he said. "And I think what happens is we end up doing things that are meant to control outcomes rather than just being present with our kids."

Ouch. But also, yes.

How many times have you made a parenting decision not because it felt right, but because you were terrified of what might happen if you didn't? How often do you hover, micromanage, or rescue your child from discomfort because you're afraid they won't be able to handle it?

I've done it. You've probably done it too. And the heartbreaking irony is that our attempts to protect our kids from anxiety often create more of it.

When we parent from fear, we send our children a clear message: the world is dangerous, you can't handle it on your own, and you need me to manage everything for you. Is it any wonder they grow up anxious?

Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and parenting expert, puts it this way: "Connection is the most important thing. Kids need to feel seen and safe, not perfect and managed."

What Anxious Kids Actually Need From Us

So if control doesn't work, what does?

Dr. Ronsisvalle shared a powerful principle that's backed by decades of research: "Anxiety lives in the future. What if? What if this happened? What if that happens? Depression lives in the past. Why I regret this? Why did I do that? My goal every day is to say, okay, how can I be present right here, right now?"

Presence. That's the answer. Not perfection. Not the right strategy or the perfect boundary or the most carefully crafted consequence. Just showing up, being there, and creating space for connection.

But what does that actually look like in real life?

Dr. Ronsisvalle offered some incredibly practical examples from his own family. He talked about how his father used to put his hand on him—sometimes at the most inconvenient moments—and pray over him. "God, thank you for Mike. Thank you for his heart for you. Thank you for giving him leadership and guidance tonight."

As a teenager, Dr. Ronsisvalle admitted he found it "staggeringly annoying." But looking back, he realized what his father was actually doing: grounding him in something bigger than the moment, reminding him of his identity, and infusing meaning into everyday life.

"You're literally infusing faith," he reflected. "My dad didn't even know what he was doing, but he was infusing in me the idea that the central part of our family, the central part of my life, needed to be something that was beyond that night, beyond the decision I was gonna make in 30 minutes or an hour. But it needed to be eternal."

Now, before you think this only applies if you're religious, hang on. The principle here isn't about religion—it's about values. It's about consistently, repeatedly, intentionally reminding your children who they are and what matters most in your family.

Whether you pray over your kids, speak affirmations, share gratitude at dinner, or create your own family rituals, the point is the same: you're anchoring them to something stable in a chaotic world. You're teaching them that their worth isn't dependent on performance, popularity, or perfection.​

Small Shifts That Make A Big Difference

One of the things I appreciated most about my conversation with Dr. Ronsisvalle was his emphasis on small, sustainable changes. He's not asking you to overhaul your entire life or become a different person. He's asking you to do one thing differently today.

Through his platform, LiveWell Coaching, Dr. Ronsisvalle created a 14-day challenge called "Pathway to Parenting" that focuses on this exact approach. Each day, you get a 10-minute video and one simple action step—one thing you can do differently as a parent.

"Over time you string 14 days together and I promise you it'll yield some positive results for you as a parent and I hope in your family," he explained.

This resonates deeply with me because I know how overwhelming it feels when you're told you need to change everything all at once. You're already exhausted. You're already doing your best. The last thing you need is another impossible standard to fail at.

But one small thing? One intentional moment of connection? One decision to put down your phone and be fully present with your child? That's doable. And those small moments add up.

The Technology Conversation We Can't Avoid

We can't talk about anxiety in kids without addressing the elephant in the room: screens.

Dr. Ronsisvalle was clear about this. Technology isn't neutral. It's designed to capture and keep our attention. And while it offers incredible benefits, it also comes with serious costs—especially for developing brains.

The challenge is that we can't just eliminate technology. It's woven into every aspect of modern life. Our kids need devices for school. We use them to stay connected with family. They're not going anywhere.

So what do we do?

We set boundaries. We model healthy usage. We create tech-free zones and times in our homes. We talk openly with our kids about how social media affects their mental health. We teach them to notice when scrolling makes them feel worse, not better.

And most importantly, we offer something better. When we tell our kids to put down their phones, we need to have something meaningful waiting on the other side—conversation, connection, creativity, play.

The reality is, our kids won't choose us over their devices unless we make ourselves worth choosing. That doesn't mean being entertaining all the time or competing with YouTube. It means being present, engaged, and genuinely interested in their lives.

Finding Beauty In The Mess

As our conversation wound down, Dr. Ronsisvalle left me with something I keep coming back to: "Look for moments of beauty today. Even in the midst of whatever struggle is going on, even in the midst of what's not going right. Look for the beauty that comes outta the ashes. I promise you that's where the peace is. That's where the hope is. That's where the joy is."

This isn't toxic positivity. It's not pretending everything is fine when it's not. It's choosing to notice the good alongside the hard. It's recognizing that both can be true at the same time.

Your child might be struggling with anxiety AND they're incredibly creative. Parenting might be exhausting AND you had a beautiful moment of connection this morning. Life might feel overwhelming AND there's still so much worth celebrating.

Author Glennon Doyle writes, "We can do hard things." But I'd add to that: we can do hard things and still find joy. We can be tired and still be present. We can feel inadequate and still be exactly what our kids need.

Moving Forward: One Healthy Thing At A Time

I won't pretend there's a magic solution to anxiety—yours or your child's. Mental health is complex, parenting is hard, and some days you'll do everything "right" and it still won't feel like enough.

But here's what I know: you don't have to fix everything today. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to be perfect.

You just have to do the next healthy thing.

Maybe that's putting your phone down during dinner. Maybe it's asking your child one genuine question and actually listening to the answer. Maybe it's taking three deep breaths before responding when they push your buttons. Maybe it's praying over them, speaking words of affirmation, or simply sitting next to them in silence.

Whatever it is, it matters. Those small moments of presence and connection are what your kids will remember. Not the perfect boundaries you set or the strategies you implemented, but the feeling of being seen, known, and loved exactly as they are.

Your Next Step

If this conversation resonated with you, I want to encourage you to check out Dr. Mike Ronsisvalle's free 14-day "Pathway to Parenting" challenge through LiveWell Coaching. You can find the link in the show notes of this episode. It's research-based, practical, and designed for real parents dealing with real challenges.

And remember: anxiety might be the defining issue of our time, but it doesn't have to define your family. With intention, presence, and grace for yourself, you can create the calm, connected home you've been longing for.

You're not alone in this. You're not failing. And it's not too late to make small shifts that lead to big changes.

Remember that feeling I described at the beginning—lying in bed at night, replaying your day, wondering if you're getting it right? Here's what I've learned: the fact that you're asking that question means you care deeply. It means you're showing up. It means you're trying.

That's not failure. That's love in action. And love, even imperfect love, is exactly what your kids need most.

So tonight, instead of cataloging everything you did wrong today, try this: look for one moment of beauty. One glimpse of connection. One small thing that went right. Because that's where the peace is. That's where the hope lives. That's where you'll find the strength to keep going, one healthy thing at a time.

You've got this. And more importantly, you don't have to do it alone.

*Listen to our podcast episodes 328 and 329/ Why Is My Child So Anxious? Expert Strategies for Calming Worried Kids and Stressed Parents, with Dr. Mike Ronsisvalle

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