What Does It Really Take to Heal Old Wounds and Build a Thriving Family? With Regan Caruthers
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself lying awake at night, replaying the day’s chaos and wondering: Am I really living my best life? Not just for myself, but for my family too? We all crave a sense of fulfillment, a deeper connection with our loved ones, and a home where mental wellness isn’t just a buzzword but a lived reality. Yet, in the swirl of school drop-offs, work deadlines, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters.
Recently, I had the privilege of sitting down with Reagan Caruthers-writer, spiritual teacher, and founder of the Asset Yoga Center. Her journey, marked by profound healing and the pursuit of unconditional love, offers a new perspective on how families can move from simply surviving to genuinely thriving. Whether you’re a parent seeking more peace at home, or someone longing for a greater sense of personal and family fulfillment, Reagan’s story and insights might just be the invitation to slow down and rediscover what matters most.
A Story of Seeking, Healing, and Transformation
Reagan’s story begins in a home full of both love and complexity. Her mother, a woman of deep spiritual gifts but also deep struggles, set the stage for Reagan’s lifelong search for healing and wholeness. “I was born into some pretty complex conditions. My mother, while she could radiate the greatest love I’ve ever known, other than the love of God, she really suffered and she couldn’t self-regulate very well,” Reagan shared.
From a young age, Reagan was exposed to meditation, Tai Chi, and the power of conscious thought. Yet, even with these tools, she found herself overwhelmed by the weight of her experiences. Like so many of us, she learned that healing is rarely a straight line. “It’s not easy. It’s not quick. If there’s a spiritual teacher that says, ‘do these five things and this’ll happen,’ run. It’s just not like that. It’s a process. Everybody’s process is different,” she explained.
The Power of Slowing Down and Creating Stillness
One of the most powerful lessons from Reagan’s journey is the importance of stillness. In a world that glorifies busyness, she challenges us to pause, breathe, and listen to the quiet wisdom within.
"If you're not sitting in the quiet with your eyes closed, praying to that higher power for help and learning how to create inner quiet, it would be like trying to have an important conversation in a really noisy room." Reagan said.
The truth is, our ability to tune into ourselves-and to each other-depends on our willingness to create space for silence. For families, this might mean carving out a few minutes each day for quiet reflection, meditation, or simply being together without distractions. It’s in these moments that we can reconnect with our own hearts and with each other, fostering an atmosphere where mental wellness and emotional connection can flourish.
Discipline: The Unpopular Secret to Lasting Change
Reagan is refreshingly honest about what it takes to create real transformation. “Discipline matters. If you want to have that big revelation, what are you doing? What are you eating? And I don’t mean just your diet, though that’s important. What you’re allowing into your consciousness, right? There’s so much fear. Fear is the program. It’s on your phone, it’s on the television,” she noted.
Discipline isn’t about perfection or rigidity; it’s about consistently choosing practices that support your well-being and your family’s. Whether it’s daily prayer, meditation, walks in nature, or simply being mindful of what you consume-mentally and physically-these small acts of discipline create the foundation for fulfillment and wellness.
As parents, we often put our needs last, believing that self-care is selfish. But Reagan’s story reminds us that
"Nothing changes until you do."
When we prioritize our own healing and growth, we model resilience and self-love for our children. We create a home where everyone has permission to care for their mental and emotional health.
Accessing Love: The Heart of Family Fulfillment
At the core of Reagan’s message is the transformative power of love-both for ourselves and for others. Healing, she explains, isn’t about fixing or changing the parts of us that hurt. It’s about bringing unconditional love to those wounded places.
"What I have learned to do is to bring that energy of love into those traumatized aspects of myself. Not to change their mind, but just to love them." Reagan shared.
This approach is especially powerful for families. When we respond to our children’s struggles-or our own triggers-with compassion rather than criticism, we create a safe space for growth and connection. As Virginia Satir, a pioneering family therapist, once said, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible-the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family”.
Practical Steps for Parents: Creating a Culture of Wellness at Home
So how can you start to foster more fulfillment and mental health in your family? Here are some actionable steps inspired by Reagan’s story and the wisdom of mental health professionals:
Prioritize Stillness: Set aside a few minutes each day for quiet time, whether it’s meditation, prayer, or simply sitting together without screens. This helps everyone reset and reconnect.
Practice Gratitude and Love: Encourage family members to share something they’re grateful for each day. “Start feeling love and gratitude more often. Begin there and learn how to close your eyes. Sit up with a tall spine. And notice what’s going on in there,” Reagan advised.
Model Emotional Honesty: Talk openly about feelings-both the good and the hard. Let your children see you working through your own emotions with compassion.
Create Healthy Boundaries with Technology: Be mindful of what you allow into your family’s consciousness. Limit exposure to fear-based media and prioritize uplifting, nourishing content.
Embrace Discipline as Self-Care: Establish routines that support mental and physical wellness, such as regular family meals, outdoor activities, and consistent sleep schedules.
Seek Support When Needed: Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help, whether it’s therapy, coaching, or spiritual guidance. “Your mental health is everything-prioritize it. Make the time like your life depends on it, because it does.” - Mel Robbins.
Healing Old Wounds: The Role of Inner Parenting
Many of us carry wounds from our own childhoods that surface in our parenting or relationships. Reagan’s experience illustrates the importance of “inner parenting”-offering ourselves the love and validation we may have missed as children. She described how her own inner toddler, shaped by early experiences of neglect, needed to be “held in loving witness.”
By tending to these parts of ourselves, we become less reactive and more grounded, even in the face of family stress. “The more you reflect on moments in time when you felt love and gratitude, that goes in the amygdala, that begins to change the ratio of what’s in there. Ultimately, if you do it long enough like me, then you don’t become triggered because there’s not a triggering mechanism really within your brain anymore,” Reagan explained.
From Victimhood to Ownership: Rewriting the Family Story
It’s easy to slip into a victim mindset, blaming circumstances or others for our unhappiness. But true fulfillment comes from taking ownership of our healing.
I reflected during our conversation:
"It has everything to do with you and that goes into that ownership model. Not staying a victim, not staying stuck and pointing fingers because we've all had something happen to us."
When we approach challenges with curiosity and compassion-asking, “What can this teach me?”-we empower ourselves and our families to grow stronger together. As Zig Ziglar once said, “You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles”.
The Spiral of Growth: Embracing the Process
Reagan beautifully described personal growth as a spiral, not a straight line. We may revisit the same challenges again and again, but each time with more wisdom and capacity. “Think of growth as a spiral. It’s not linear, so we tend to come back to the same stuff. Ideally we come back to that stuff and we have more capacity. Maybe we have a new tool, a new insight,” she said.
This perspective is liberating for families. Instead of expecting perfection, we can embrace the journey-celebrating progress, learning from setbacks, and supporting each other along the way.
Miracles in the Everyday: Trusting Divine Guidance
One of the most moving parts of Reagan’s story is her account of following divine guidance, even when it made little sense. Her willingness to listen-to move across the country, to seek medical care-ultimately saved her life. “Divine guidance literally saved my life. What I try to help people do is create the inner conditions to know what that sounds like and feels and to have the courage to follow,” she shared.
For families, this might look like trusting your intuition when it comes to big decisions, or simply being open to unexpected sources of wisdom. As parents, we can teach our children to listen to their own inner guidance, fostering resilience and self-trust.
Family as a Foundation: The Compass That Guides Us
At the end of the day, fulfillment isn’t found in external achievements, but in the quality of our relationships.
"Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach greater heights and our comfort when we occassionally falter." - Brad Henry
When we invest in our family’s well-being-emotionally, mentally, and spiritually-we create a legacy of love that endures.
Final Thoughts: Living Your Best Life, One Small Step at a Time
As we wrap up, I invite you to pause and reflect: What does living your best life mean for you and your family? Is it more laughter around the dinner table? A home where everyone feels seen and heard? The courage to face challenges together, with compassion and grace?
Reagan’s story reminds us that fulfillment and wellness aren’t distant goals-they’re built in the small, daily choices we make to slow down, practice love, and show up for ourselves and each other. “Nothing changes until you do,” Reagan wisely concluded.
So tonight, as you tuck your kids into bed or sit quietly with your own thoughts, remember: Every moment is an opportunity to begin again. To choose love over fear, presence over distraction, and growth over stagnation. Your family’s best life starts not with grand gestures, but with the simple, courageous act of caring-for yourself, and for those you love.
"Balance is a feeling derived from being whole and complete; it's a sense of harmony. It is essential to maintaining quality in life and work." - Joshua Osenga
"Your mental health is everything-prioritize it. Make the time like your life depends on it, because it does." - Mel Robbins
"Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach greater heights and our comfort when we occassionally falter." - Brad Henry
If you’re ready to take the next step in your family’s journey toward fulfillment and wellness, start small. Practice stillness, cultivate love, and remember: you are not alone on this path.
Join us on Fulfillment Therapy, where you'll find healing, wellness, and the tools needed to live a life you can't wait to wake up to. Together, we can create positive ripples of change and help others ignite their lives with lasting joy and fulfillment.
Thanks for reading and listening and shine boldly and brightly, my friends!
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