The 5-Minute Recharge: Therapist-Approved Hacks for Overwhelmed Parents
As a licensed therapist, coach, and mother of four, I've seen firsthand how easy it is for parents to get caught up in the constant demands of family life, often neglecting their own needs in the process. What would look like if you really believed that prioritizing your own well-being isn't just okay—it's essential? In this episode of Rose's Homestead podcast, I had the pleasure of discussing the vital topic of self-care for busy parents and how small, intentional changes can lead to significant personal growth and family harmony.
The Power of Incremental Growth
One of the most powerful concepts I shared during our conversation was the idea of incremental growth.
As I explained,
"If you do 1 percent growth over an entire year, that's 37 times better."
This concept, popularized by authors like James Clear in "Atomic Habits," emphasizes that small, consistent actions can lead to remarkable results over time.
For busy parents, this approach to self-care is a game-changer. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of major lifestyle overhauls, we can focus on incorporating tiny, manageable habits into our daily routines. I shared some practical examples:
Do 20 jumping jacks while waiting for the microwave to finish
Take a quick power walk and listen to your favorite book during breaks
Incorporate exercise into quality time with your children
These small actions may seem insignificant, but they add up to create meaningful change in our lives. By embracing incremental growth, we can nurture ourselves without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.
The Twofer Approach: Maximizing Self-Care Opportunities
One particularly inspiring strategy I introduced was the concept of the "twofer"—finding ways to accomplish two goals with a single action. I shared a personal example of how I combine exercise with quality time with my son:
"My son wants to get stronger... I'm like, why don't we go to the gym together? We'll just go as many times as you want. And we'll just do the things that you want... I can teach you what you need to know. So is this going to help me get my best workout possible? Probably not, but it is helping towards my goals and being that better parent1."
This approach allows us to address our own needs while simultaneously investing in our relationships with our children. It's a powerful reminder that self-care doesn't have to come at the expense of family time—often, we can find creative ways to combine the two.
Overcoming Guilt and Burnout
Many parents struggle with feelings of guilt when it comes to prioritizing their own needs. I candidly shared my own journey:
"I came to this point where I was so burnt out to where I recognized I do matter too..."
And I'm investing so much in like my kids, like my time, my energy, my money, even into my kid's talents my spouse, all of those things, like helping them achieve their dreams. But I was putting my life on hold a little bit more."
This realization is crucial for all parents. We must understand that taking care of ourselves isn't selfish—it's necessary. When we're running on empty, we can't show up as our best selves for our families. By acknowledging our own worth and needs, we set the foundation for a healthier, more balanced family dynamic.
Discovering What Refuels You
One of the most valuable exercises I suggested was creating a personal inventory of activities that bring joy and energy to our lives. I recommend a year-end "personal audit":
"I go through my entire year and I look at the things that have refueled me and brought me the most joy that really make me feel alive. And I write all of those down and then I'm like, okay, I'm going to put more of those into this coming year."
This practice helps us identify the specific activities that truly nourish our souls. It might be something unexpected, like my love for pickleball, or simple pleasures like laughing with friends or enjoying a good meal. The key is to recognize these sources of joy and intentionally incorporate them into our lives.
Modeling Self-Care for Our Children
Perhaps one of the most compelling reasons to prioritize self-care is the impact it has on our children. As I pointed out:
"We are modeling self-care for our kids."
"So if we want our kids to grow up thriving and being able to advocate for themselves and show people that they matter too, that we have to show them what that looks like by our example1."
By taking care of ourselves, we're not just improving our own lives—we're teaching our children valuable lessons about self-worth, boundaries, and personal well-being. This perspective can help alleviate any lingering guilt we might feel about prioritizing our needs.
A Step-by-Step Guide to Implementing Self-Care
To help parents get started on their self-care journey, I outlined a simple yet powerful exercise:
Find a peaceful, distraction-free space (like a quiet patio or favorite outdoor spot).
Create a cozy, relaxing atmosphere (e.g., wrap yourself in a blanket, and play soft meditation music).
Journal about the following questions:
What helps me refuel and become my best self?
When do I feel most alive?
What makes my soul sing?
When do I find myself with a "perma-grin"?
This exercise allows us to tap into our intuition and identify the activities and experiences that truly nourish us. It's not about creating a to-do list or setting unrealistic expectations—it's about reconnecting with what brings us joy and fulfillment.
Setting Non-Negotiable Boundaries
One of the most impactful strategies I shared was the importance of setting firm boundaries around our self-care time. I explained:
"I like to just have about an hour to myself a day, wherever I can carve that out to read, to take a little power nap, to do some journaling. And I put some firm boundaries around that. And that's like a non-negotiable for me, including my workout1."
By establishing these non-negotiable periods for self-care, we communicate to ourselves and our families that our well-being matters. It's a powerful way to ensure that we consistently make time for the activities that refuel us, even amidst busy schedules and competing demands.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Care
As we implement these self-care strategies, it's important to remember the positive impact they have on our entire family ecosystem. When we're more fulfilled and energized, we show up as better parents, partners, and individuals. Our children benefit from our improved mood, increased patience, and modeling of healthy behaviors.
Moreover, by prioritizing our own needs, we give our children permission to do the same. As I noted:
"When we're so much better with some alone time. We're also showing them, 'Hey, you could take this time too, to do the same thing,' like encouraging them to have time to regroup and practice those same things."
This approach fosters a family culture where everyone's needs are respected and nurtured, creating a more harmonious and supportive home environment.
Embracing Imperfection and Progress
As we embark on this journey of self-care and personal growth, it's crucial to remember that perfection is not the goal. The path to better self-care is often filled with ups and downs, and that's okay. What matters most is our commitment to progress and our willingness to prioritize our well-being consistently.
In the words of author Brené Brown,
"Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together."
This sentiment perfectly captures the essence of our self-care journey as parents. We're not striving for an idealized version of parenthood or self-care—we're working towards a more authentic, fulfilling life that honors our needs alongside those of our family.
Conclusion: Cultivating Your Best Self for a Thriving Family
As we've explored throughout this discussion, prioritizing self-care isn't just a luxury for parents—it's a necessity. By embracing incremental growth, finding creative "twofer" opportunities, and setting firm boundaries around our needs, we lay the foundation for a more fulfilling and energized life.
Remember, the journey to better self-care starts with small steps. Whether it's carving out a few minutes for journaling, incorporating quick exercises into your daily routine, or scheduling regular alone time, each action you take is an investment in your well-being and, by extension, your family's happiness.
As you move forward, keep in mind my words:
"If it's important to you, you'll find a way; if it's not, you'll find an excuse."
Let this be your mantra as you navigate the challenges and joys of parenting while nurturing your own growth and fulfillment.
By prioritizing your needs and modeling healthy self-care, you're not just transforming your own life—you're shaping a brighter, more balanced future for your entire family. So take that first step, however small it may be, and watch as the ripples of your self-care journey create waves of positive change in your home and beyond.
Join us on Fulfillment Therapy, where you'll find healing, wellness, and the tools needed to live a life you can't wait to wake up to. Together, we can create positive ripples of change and help others ignite their lives with lasting joy and fulfillment.
Thanks for reading and listening and shine boldly and brightly, my friends!
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